Saturday, December 6, 2014

Night Shifts and Loneliness

So it's been a while since I've posted with any regularity. I could cite business, but that's the excuse that everyone uses. So, let's see. I've moved to a new apartment, begun new dance classes, am working on a promotion at work, and am faced with hours and hours of nighttime awakeness.

It's really lonely being awake while everyone else is asleep. You have all this time to think and do things,..but only if you do them by yourself. No classes at night, no texting conversations or even phone conversations, no shopping at the mall. You have to prepare everything in those few hours while you're awake and the world is still awake. It's really lonely, and I'm ready for a change.

7 months of this nighttime job has now officially changed my internal clock to wanting to sleep between 8am and 4pm. It's annoying because I have all this time to be awake and I mostly just want to be talking to people. You know, visiting with family, hanging with friends, and especially being with my boyfriend. You can't do that though during the wee hours of the morning. You can only work on personal projects, like Netflix.

I guess in a word, I'm lonely. Wish I didn't have all these empty hours to fill.

48 Hours Without Sleep

"People die in bed, get up!"
-Grandpa Capron

Sleep is for those who can afford it. Ever tried to stay awake for 2 days straight? I did! Because I'm still amped on all the extra cortisol my brain produced, here is a chronicle of how it feels to do such ridiculous stuff as not sleep. I will say I have truly felt each moment, and am not eager to repeat said experience.

Hour 1: Still waking up, sleepy and comfy. It is 2 in the afternoon, my normal wake-up time.

Hour 2: Gym clothes on, head out the door for a run

Hour 3: Tired but triumphant, I just ran 5 miles!

Hour 10: First real wave of tired hits me as that run on top of work kicks in. It's 11pm and I've still got 8 hours of work left to go. Its ok, plenty of energy still!

Hour 15: 4a.m., I'm never going to make it, my head screams to be laid down. Can't yet. I shake it off and get on with life.

Hour 18: Finally off work, no rest yet though. Due to my apartment burning up on Friday and the subsequent investigation, now is the only time I am allowed to go get stuff. I park in the parking lot and try to drift off. Amid the chattering of teeth and alternate car warming, it is impossible to catch any sort of nap. This is when I realize that I promised my Boyfriend Id go to lunch with him in a mere 6 hours. Oh joy.

Hour 23: I have waited in the cold, cleaned out my kitchen stuff and clothes from a smoke filled apartment, loaded my car, driven to Grandma's house, unloaded, showered, confirmed lunch plans, and am now driving to my boyfriend s house. Now that its light outside I'm having an easy time staying awake. No repercussions from lack of sleep yet!

Hour 27: My head now has a definite pounding, and my eyes seem to be buzzing. I refused to give up on the date though, because I hardly ever get to see my guy. Oh well, time to get ready for work. Again.

Hour 28: 6pm and time to pound a chai tea for that burst of energy

Hour 34: caffeine gone, it is now midnight and I hurt.

Hour 35: Diarrhea. What did I eat? Does lack of sleep do this? Why must you betray me body?

Hour 36: Still nauseous, although that may be a side effect of cleaning up lots of poop. I can do this though, I'm focused now.

Hour 38: Why....why at 4a.m. does my head spin? My coworkers all are zombies too though, so it's not that unusual.

Hour 39: just focusing on work.....

Hour 41: Done with work! Time to drive straight home, well, to the place that I have a bed, and go to sleep!

Hour 41.5: This car drive is killer. Wasn't there a study about how lack of sleep makes you look like you're driving drunk? Uh oh, I decide to turn up the tunes in the car so that it will overstimulate my ear canals. It works and I make it home.

Hour 42: Sweet, sweet bliss of bedtime. I love the soft bed, soft covers, and soft place to sleep...there are springs poking me in the ribs, but whatever, it's bed! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So there you have it. Lots of headaches it took me about 2 days to get over being that tired. Um, not going to try that again anytime soon.