Night Shifts and Loneliness

So it's been a while since I've posted with any regularity. I could cite business, but that's the excuse that everyone uses. So, let's see. I've moved to a new apartment, begun new dance classes, am working on a promotion at work, and am faced with hours and hours of nighttime awakeness.

It's really lonely being awake while everyone else is asleep. You have all this time to think and do things,..but only if you do them by yourself. No classes at night, no texting conversations or even phone conversations, no shopping at the mall. You have to prepare everything in those few hours while you're awake and the world is still awake. It's really lonely, and I'm ready for a change.

7 months of this nighttime job has now officially changed my internal clock to wanting to sleep between 8am and 4pm. It's annoying because I have all this time to be awake and I mostly just want to be talking to people. You know, visiting with family, hanging with friends, and especially being with my boyfriend. You can't do that though during the wee hours of the morning. You can only work on personal projects, like Netflix.

I guess in a word, I'm lonely. Wish I didn't have all these empty hours to fill.

I'm Getting a Second Job

Here's a typical Thursday or Friday evening for me.

Me: Hmmm, I want to go out this weekend, tired of staying in...let's see who wants to hang out!

Me: *Calls boyfriend* Hey handsome, doing anything Saturday night?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I've got this super cool acting thing all day, and then my family is all going swimming!
Me: That sounds fun!
Boyfriend: I know, it'll be super great!
Me:....so...Saturday?
Boyfriend: I'm busy then, but talk to ya later for sure!

Me: *texts Social Girl* I'm thinking girls night Saturday, what do you think?
Social Girl: Sorry, I can't, I've got tons of work gibberish to finish.
Me: Hey that's cool, I understand. Maybe next time?
Social Girl: Maybe, having a real job is so hard! You're so lucky your job isn't as real as mine.
Me: Haha...ha....ah....yeah.

Me: *calls best girl friend* Hey bestie, wanna hang on Saturday?
Bestie: Um...I live in Florida...
Me: Oh, yeah I forgot...

Me: *texts Purple-Hair Girl* You, me, horror movie, Saturday night. Whaddaya think?
Purple-Haired Girl: Got a hipster concert to go to with all of my similarly styled friends that night, but thanks for asking!
Me: I was thinking of dying my hair pink. No prob, have fun!

Me: *Texts Work Friend* Hey, want to grab dinner Saturday?
Work Friend: Why are you texting me?

Me: *posts on Facebook* I think I'm going to see New Popular Movie on Saturday, anyone want to come?
Facebook:
Facebook: *Friend/s that lives in Wyoming/Florida/Europe/The Moon/Provo* Would totes come if I lived closer!

Me: *calls mom*
Mom: You have reached the voice mailbox of-
Me: *hangs up*

Me: *group Snapchats everyone who is socially acceptable to do so.* (Insert puppy-dog eyes picture) Anyone want to hang Saturday? Fun stuff planned!
Snapchat: You have no new updates.

Me: *texts Weird Stalker Friend* I'm super bored, wanna go do something?
Weird Stalker Friend: Don't you have a boyfriend?
Me:....


So...guess who's getting a second job?

Hearts Brought Together As One

I am on the compassionate service committee for my singles ward. I remember getting the calling with frustration. Compassionate service? How am I supposed to serve others, I don't even have any friends, I'm the one that needs service! Thankfully, the Lord overlooks selfish thoughts like this and makes you persevere with the work.

One thing that's been brought to my attention is the amount of loneliness that exists within my ward. It's staggering to realize how many girls (I'm sure guys too, but I'm only in charge of girls) are struggling with feelings of loneliness, inadequacy, friendlessness, and general social depression. It's so easy to pick up a phone and connect with someone, message them on Facebook  send them an email, a text, some form of communication. I'm sure we could even do smoke signals if we wanted, but the thing is, we don't.

That's generally what my thoughts are on today. I've been lonely quite frequently over the past year, and I still struggle with loneliness. In my experience, the best way to overcome it is to put yourself out there, to make that first communication. It's scary, and some people may not reach back, but you will be surprised with the way people reach back. So, I want to change that.

One of the best things in my life is having a friend group that meets together frequently, just to hang. It's a given that on certain nights of the week, I will find them at a certain place. I think this is something that everyone needs. A place to call theirs, friends that accept (or at least tolerate) them, and something to do. It speaks volumes for people that are able to accept others into their group of already established friends, I know from experience that it means the world to people.

So, I guess the basis of this is, we need more people who are willing to reach out to others, to include them in their circles. I'm trying to work on that now, and while it may seem a daunting task, it is possible. One of the ten commandments is, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I'm pretty sure that means, "Be a good friend with those around you. Also bring them chocolate, because that is always appreciated."