That's Not How You're Supposed To Do It....

Sometimes things get a little hectic at the hospital. I just concentrate on my patients and ensure they are well taken care of. Most of my coworkers are wonderful, intelligent people that truly enjoy the work that they do. Once in awhile I encounter a nurse that makes me wonder how they ever made it through nursing school without a dunce cap on their heads. And then I write a blog about it.

One night I came into a patient's room because their oxygen levels were dropping. I was surprised to find their nasal cannula on and a simple mask set tightly over their mouth and nose. The nasal cannula was set at 4 liters of oxygen (which from a nasal cannula feels like sticking an airbrush up your nose) and the mask wasn't even hooked up to an oxygen tank. I turned the cannula back down to 1 liter (all the patient was cleared for/needed) and hid the mask in the bedside drawer. Then I went in search of answers.

Me: So I found my patient with both a nasal cannula and a mask on.

Nurse: I put the mask on over the cannula.

Me: What? Why?

Nurse: Well, she was breathing with her mouth open and I wanted her to keep it closed.

Me: You know we aren't supposed to do that, just move the cannula down to the mouth so they still get oxygen.

Nurse: I do this all the time, it usually works.

Me: .....

#howdoyouclaimtohavemoretrainingthanme

5 Things You Should NEVER Post on Social Media

Some things do not belong on social media. The state of your great-grandma's toenails is one. The insipid teenage whining about how no one likes you is another. Other things are a little harder to decide about. So, I have made a list of 5 things never to post on social media. If you're conflicted about whether or not to put something up, go through this list. If it meets one, or heaven forbid, all of the categories, then save yourself and all of your friends the trouble by not posting.

1. Anything 'Fishy'.
"So Bored."
"Nobody loves me."
"Having a bad day."
"Sigh..."
All of those are just looking for compliments and/or attention. Really? You're so insecure you have to post it on social media for everyone to see? Well excuse me, I'll just throw you a fish!

2. Rants designed to offend.
Rants have their time and place. If you feel passionate about something, by all means share it. However, there are rants that have no place on social media. These are rants that are designed to stir up emotion, to really step on people's toes. These are rants with specific social, political, economical, and other themes. The biggest difference between appropriate rants and inappropriate ones are the ones that state something to the effect of, "And if you think differently then you're dumb." Really? People are designed to have opinions so....

3. Anything with poor grammar or spelling. 
On purpose or not, take the time to enlighten yourself. We are a culture of socially driven people, and often the written word is where people will get their first opinions of you. So fix it. If you don't know what is considered poor grammar or spelling, allow me to shed some light on the subject by means of Weird Al.

4.Family Issues
Again, social media is not the place to air family problems and try to get feedback on them. We don't want to know how much your aunt annoys you, or how you dad won't give you money, or how the super-complicated proceedings of your divorce are going. I've unfriended people for this, the drama is annoying and you may think it's supposed to be important to your entire social circle but I've got news for you, it's not. So get some counseling or something, but keep it off Facebook!


5. Honeymoon photos
This is what irks me the most. Honeymoon photos with the hashtag #sexytime. Please no, for the love of everyone's sanity, do not remind all your friends, family, acquaintances, work buddies, and that random homeless dude you befriended once how you have successfully overcome singledom  and are now in a paradise land getting it on. No one wants to know. Especially not me. There, rant over. If you don't know by now what to keep off social media then there's no help for you.

What other inappropriate uses of social media have you come across? Comments are below, #sexytimecommentsarebest.

And They Say You Should Be The Smart One

I recently started a job as a Health Care Assistant. It's a long, thankless job that involves a lot of poop, but sometimes nuggets of comedy show up. I wanted to share a short story on idiocy for a moment that I encounter in the workplace.

At work we have a video monitor on which we watch our impulsive patients to make sure they don't pull out IV's or try to get out of bed without help. If a patient does need assistance, we are supposed to send another aide in. One night I was assigned to watch video monitor...

Me: Hey, *New Hire* could you go see room 3? He pulled off his oxygen mask for the trach again. (Not a big deal, but oxygen levels will get low if left off too long)

New Hire: Sure!

Mr. New Hire walks into the room, carefully picks up the mask, and then stares at it as if it were an alien creature. Finally, ignoring the arrows that clearly point "This Way UP", he puts it on upside down. It doesn't fit. Mr. New Hire takes it off, stares at it again, and puts it on...upside down, again.

It is at this point I hear muttered Russian curses from over my shoulder. Our head nurse has noticed Mr. New Hire's idiocy and marches to the room to fix the issue.

Later I had an opportunity to ask Mr. New Hire about it.

Me: So...have your worked as an aide before?

Mr. New Hire: Oh yes, I think that I was very good and that is why I got hired here.

Me: Uh Huh, so are you going to school for this?

Mr. New Hire: Yes, I am in the nursing program and I will be a great nurse one day

#ifyoudon'tkillyourpatientsfirst