And the Michael Bay Award Goes To...

A while ago I had my first encounter with explosions at work. Explosions of an unconventional manner.

Day Shift: So this guy should be good. He hadn't pooped in 5 days before he got here, but he got some stool softeners earlier and then had a huge BM about an hour ago.

Me: *naively* Great!

At about 11pm that night, the call light goes off for that room. I happily walked down the hallway and opened the door to see...an explosion. It was Everywhere.

The bed.

The floor.

The patient.

The walls.

The bathroom.

The patient's mother.

Patient's Mother: I...uh...need a bit of help here.

Me: Well, *whipping out my antibacterial wipes* let's get started.

Two showers, two complete clothing changes, a bed change, a thorough cleaning of the room and bathroom and 45 minutes later, the explosion was contained and all casualties of the explosion were cleaned and back in bed.

Patient's Mother: I guess those stool softeners worked.

#yestheydid

Compliments to the Coworker

I sometimes get to have fun conversations with my patients. One night I was talking with a cute older lady about how she moves from one spot to the other.

Betty White: There's only two of your coworkers that can move my all by themselves.

Me: Who are they?

Betty White: That tall skinny guy in PT, and that other one here. Tall, dark, nice muscles and a few tattoos?

Me: Oh yes, you're talking about The Rock. (*Names changed for comedy purposes)

Betty White: That's right! (Leans in conspiratorially) I made him move my pillows just so I could feel his muscles.

Me: Oh that's....nice?

Betty White: You're darn right, *dreamy sigh* He is a beautiful man.

#thatismynewcatchphrase #he'llneverlivethatdown