I recently started a job as a Health Care Assistant. It's a long, thankless job that involves a lot of poop, but sometimes nuggets of comedy show up. I wanted to share a short story on idiocy for a moment that I encounter in the workplace.
At work we have a video monitor on which we watch our impulsive patients to make sure they don't pull out IV's or try to get out of bed without help. If a patient does need assistance, we are supposed to send another aide in. One night I was assigned to watch video monitor...
Me: Hey, *New Hire* could you go see room 3? He pulled off his oxygen mask for the trach again. (Not a big deal, but oxygen levels will get low if left off too long)
New Hire: Sure!
Mr. New Hire walks into the room, carefully picks up the mask, and then stares at it as if it were an alien creature. Finally, ignoring the arrows that clearly point "This Way UP", he puts it on upside down. It doesn't fit. Mr. New Hire takes it off, stares at it again, and puts it on...upside down, again.
It is at this point I hear muttered Russian curses from over my shoulder. Our head nurse has noticed Mr. New Hire's idiocy and marches to the room to fix the issue.
Later I had an opportunity to ask Mr. New Hire about it.
Me: So...have your worked as an aide before?
Mr. New Hire: Oh yes, I think that I was very good and that is why I got hired here.
Me: Uh Huh, so are you going to school for this?
Mr. New Hire: Yes, I am in the nursing program and I will be a great nurse one day
#ifyoudon'tkillyourpatientsfirst
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Wanted: New Best Friend
I've had some issues with my close friends recently. To be more specific, my two best friends have become distant to the point that the best friend post in my life is rather empty. Let me explain, keeping in mind that I love these two people like crazy and wish that life was different.
First:: My best friend forever currently lives in Florida. That's well and good, but I miss her like crazy and she is often unavailable to speak with due to time differences and jobs. The bigger fact of the matter is, as she's not close she is unavailable for girls nights out. You know, like going to see sappy movies your boyfriend won't go see, staying at home and doing nail parties, and going out for ice cream at 1am just because you feel like it. Plus I miss the ghost hunting.
Second, my best Utah friend started dating a guy in February and has basically disappeared from off the face of the earth. It is now July and I can count on one hand the number of times we've hung out and it only takes two hands to count the number of times we've had an actual conversation. I used to talk to her once ever few days, now I'm lucky if it's once a month. Lists and lists of unreturned texts and calls have necessitated looking elsewhere for someone to confide in. Same issue with having no one to call on for impromptu hang-outs.
So! Instead of moping I have begun a search for a new best friend. Please read the below posting for information and how to apply to be Charlotte's Best Friend. Perks and remuneration for filling said post are numerous, the most important ones are listed at the end :)
Wanted: One Best Friend
I am looking for a new best friend, qualifications are as follows...
- Must Be: Female between the ages of 21 and 28. Ages may be waived depending on maturity level. It is possible for a male to be my best friend, but he must fit all the other qualifications below.
- Practicing LDS or have extensive experience with the LDS culture. This is very important, as someone who can't or refuses to understand this culture will not understand a core part of me.
- Experienced at dating. Preferably had at least 2, if not more previous relationships. *Can be currently in a relationship.*
- Not currently married. You may consider getting engaged or married, after 3 months of being best friends, but to start out this relationship you must be single on your tax forms.
- Likes to talk and knows how to listen
- Able to keep secrets. (Duh, that's like, the whole purpose of having a best friend.)
- Stable emotionally, not crazy. **
Duties
-Engage in 2-3 phone conversations per week. Each may be up to one hour in length, possibly shorter.
-Willing to come over at least once per week or as needed.
-Availiable for emergency counseling/advice (this will be once or twice a month)
-Answers phone calls/texts in a timely manner ***
-Live within 30 minutes of my house
Payment
You will get in return for performing these duties: 1 best friend, possibly for life. You will get a confidante, someone who adores you, who will go to the weird concerts with you and smile anyways, who knows how to cook, have fun, and has lots of cute guy friends if you need set up. Plus I'll be honest if those jeans actually do make you look fat, and suffer through early morning yoga with you if you want to get in shape.
Also free concert tickets, free dinner occasionally, fantastic nails, hair advice, shopping buddy. Your call really, the time you put in will be the time you get back.
I'm a fantastic friend, and an even better bestie. What I really want is someone to confide in about my dating life, to hear the issues and celebrate the good stuff, and someone to do something with when I'm super bored. Right now my confidantes are my mom (who opens up dating convo's by asking, "You engaged yet?" No, can't get him to call me on his own so...yeah) and my BFF, who unfortunately has never had a boyfriend and lives too far away to give me notes on how she observes his actions. I mean, seriously, Google can only get me so far. I'll do all of the same for you.
Sound interesting? Want a new BFF? Shoot me an email at ccapron@live.com with the title; NEW BEST FRIEND APPLICATION, and why you think we should give being besties a shot. We'll set up lunch and possibly a screening process (in the form of going to a movie, and another night where we talk and get to know each other while doing nails.) After that, we'll take it from there!
NOTES
*If in relationship or going to get in one, this expectation uppermost: Doesn't dedicate life to boyfriend. Many girls become impossible to get in contact with once they start dating someone (see above), this is not acceptable in a best friend as that negates the purpose of having a best friend. If this happens you will be regulated to just 'friend'. Plus, that's really not healthy for you.
**I have had best friends that try to drive away all my other friends, one that tried to kill themself, one that would call me 12 times a day until I went crazy. A small amount of what can be deemed 'interesting' is necessary and healthy even, however if you can't regulate your own emotions then other people can't do it for you, so please don't expect me to do that.
***As far as answering phone calls and texts, this is kind of a no-brainer. If you're at work or out with other friends or with family, you're not expected to answer. You are however expected to get back to me either with a kind, 'I'm busy' text or a phone call later that night. 24 hours is the absolute longest you can go without returning a call, you know it's just rude to go for days and weeks without returning calls. Just be honest when you're busy, it's not like I'm expecting you to drop your life for me, just take 20 seconds and return a text. The same will go in return for you.
First:: My best friend forever currently lives in Florida. That's well and good, but I miss her like crazy and she is often unavailable to speak with due to time differences and jobs. The bigger fact of the matter is, as she's not close she is unavailable for girls nights out. You know, like going to see sappy movies your boyfriend won't go see, staying at home and doing nail parties, and going out for ice cream at 1am just because you feel like it. Plus I miss the ghost hunting.
Second, my best Utah friend started dating a guy in February and has basically disappeared from off the face of the earth. It is now July and I can count on one hand the number of times we've hung out and it only takes two hands to count the number of times we've had an actual conversation. I used to talk to her once ever few days, now I'm lucky if it's once a month. Lists and lists of unreturned texts and calls have necessitated looking elsewhere for someone to confide in. Same issue with having no one to call on for impromptu hang-outs.
So! Instead of moping I have begun a search for a new best friend. Please read the below posting for information and how to apply to be Charlotte's Best Friend. Perks and remuneration for filling said post are numerous, the most important ones are listed at the end :)
Wanted: One Best Friend
I am looking for a new best friend, qualifications are as follows...
- Must Be: Female between the ages of 21 and 28. Ages may be waived depending on maturity level. It is possible for a male to be my best friend, but he must fit all the other qualifications below.
- Practicing LDS or have extensive experience with the LDS culture. This is very important, as someone who can't or refuses to understand this culture will not understand a core part of me.
- Experienced at dating. Preferably had at least 2, if not more previous relationships. *Can be currently in a relationship.*
- Not currently married. You may consider getting engaged or married, after 3 months of being best friends, but to start out this relationship you must be single on your tax forms.
- Likes to talk and knows how to listen
- Able to keep secrets. (Duh, that's like, the whole purpose of having a best friend.)
- Stable emotionally, not crazy. **
Duties
-Engage in 2-3 phone conversations per week. Each may be up to one hour in length, possibly shorter.
-Willing to come over at least once per week or as needed.
-Availiable for emergency counseling/advice (this will be once or twice a month)
-Answers phone calls/texts in a timely manner ***
-Live within 30 minutes of my house
Payment
You will get in return for performing these duties: 1 best friend, possibly for life. You will get a confidante, someone who adores you, who will go to the weird concerts with you and smile anyways, who knows how to cook, have fun, and has lots of cute guy friends if you need set up. Plus I'll be honest if those jeans actually do make you look fat, and suffer through early morning yoga with you if you want to get in shape.
Also free concert tickets, free dinner occasionally, fantastic nails, hair advice, shopping buddy. Your call really, the time you put in will be the time you get back.
I'm a fantastic friend, and an even better bestie. What I really want is someone to confide in about my dating life, to hear the issues and celebrate the good stuff, and someone to do something with when I'm super bored. Right now my confidantes are my mom (who opens up dating convo's by asking, "You engaged yet?" No, can't get him to call me on his own so...yeah) and my BFF, who unfortunately has never had a boyfriend and lives too far away to give me notes on how she observes his actions. I mean, seriously, Google can only get me so far. I'll do all of the same for you.
Sound interesting? Want a new BFF? Shoot me an email at ccapron@live.com with the title; NEW BEST FRIEND APPLICATION, and why you think we should give being besties a shot. We'll set up lunch and possibly a screening process (in the form of going to a movie, and another night where we talk and get to know each other while doing nails.) After that, we'll take it from there!
NOTES
*If in relationship or going to get in one, this expectation uppermost: Doesn't dedicate life to boyfriend. Many girls become impossible to get in contact with once they start dating someone (see above), this is not acceptable in a best friend as that negates the purpose of having a best friend. If this happens you will be regulated to just 'friend'. Plus, that's really not healthy for you.
**I have had best friends that try to drive away all my other friends, one that tried to kill themself, one that would call me 12 times a day until I went crazy. A small amount of what can be deemed 'interesting' is necessary and healthy even, however if you can't regulate your own emotions then other people can't do it for you, so please don't expect me to do that.
***As far as answering phone calls and texts, this is kind of a no-brainer. If you're at work or out with other friends or with family, you're not expected to answer. You are however expected to get back to me either with a kind, 'I'm busy' text or a phone call later that night. 24 hours is the absolute longest you can go without returning a call, you know it's just rude to go for days and weeks without returning calls. Just be honest when you're busy, it's not like I'm expecting you to drop your life for me, just take 20 seconds and return a text. The same will go in return for you.
Monday, June 16, 2014
A Year of Dates
My To-Do List of Dates
For quite some time now I've run into this problem. What to do on the date upon which I'm about to embark? Now dates can be simple, complex, long, or short, but they all have one thing in common. Two people going out in order to get to know each other better. Whether you've been on one date or a million, this is always important. All too often, I run into the trap of, "What do ya wanna do?" "I don't know whadda you wanna do? "I don't know...let's do something!"
So, in hopes of avoiding the dreaded trap, I have compiled my rather lengthy list of date ideas. This is the 'bucket list' of dates, I want to do all of these someday. My goal in coming up with the ideas was simple, fun, and inexpensive. Now, this has been tailored to those who live in the Salt Lake area, but you can easily adapt the specific places I've mentioned (Asylum 49 for your fav local haunted house for example) and you'll have more dates than you can sneeze at. Without further ado, here they are!
1. Picnic in the park
2. Walk Gateway mall and run through the fountain
3. Try all the frozen yogurt stores nearby and pick a favorite.
4. Sneak into Lagoon using the resident pass just to ride the Superman. (My name for the one that drops you from 400 feet in a huge swing.)
5. Explore that old, creepy barn. At night. And take pictures.
6. Make out in the middle of the mall.
7. Each of you compile a CD of fav songs and then listen to them together.
8. Go to library together and pick out a book for the other person to read.
9. Climb to flag on mountain.
10. Go hot-tubbing, preferably somewhere you're not supposed to, like a hotel you didn't check in at.
11. Go waterskiing.
12. Weekend trip to Yellowstone or Jackson Hole or wherever you can get in 8 hrs of driving.
13. Go to a store, pick out outfits for each other, try them on. Laugh.
14. Try out the Twilight Concert Series in Salt Lake, just to laugh at the bands.
15. Write a short story one evening, switching off each paragraph with the other person.
16. Quiet dinner and movie at the house, but don't really watch the movie.
17. Sneak into the others workplace and kidnap them for 5 minutes to kiss in a closet.
18. Film a Vine together.
19. Walk around the downtown and take pictures of the graffiti.
20. Take the other person to your place of work and show them off.
21. Play video games.
22. Make a ridiculous music video together.
23. Go apartment shopping, even if neither of you has any interest in moving.
24. Try that crazy dance club.
25. Go to a bar with live music and order super fruity drinks.
26. Pretty much any excuse to kiss, hold hands, or make out. Find the excuses.
27. Make costumes together.
28. TP one of your arch-enemies houses.
29. Spend the evening looking up how to say, "I love you" in 20 different languages.
30. Have a nerf-gun fight. Or water balloon fight.
31. Go swimming. Preferably where neither of you have been.
32. Speaking of that, go wading in the Tempe square reflecting pool.
33. Go to Idaho just to go horseback riding.
34. Trampoline park anyone?
35. Paintball with friends, but ditch the friends on the way home.
36. Sneak into a theatre just to hold impromptu performances for each other.
37. Make your fav dinner for them.
38. Get some friends and a large, dark building and play sardines. (Reverse of hide-and-go seek. One person hides, everyone goes to find them and once you find them, you hide with them.)
39. Camping.
40. Show up unexpectedly at the other persons house with a random gift, stay only 10 minutes but kiss the whole time.
41. Climb to the top of a random skyscraper just to see what's up there.
42. Give each other a foot massage.
43. Go ice-blocking.
44. Climb a tree.
45. Organize a movie outside.
46. Go sledding.
47. Build an igloo and have a picnic.
48. Go on a hike.
49. Go to Nicklemania (or other and spend the whole time playing 2 person games, or challenging the other person, or just having fun.
50. Fid the weirdest restaurant you can and eat there.
51. Find the closest cheap concert and go, no matter the band.
52. Go to a museum, imitate the displays and take pictures.
53. Explore a big old, or big new library.
54. Find a farmer's market and pretend to be an old Russian married couple. Confuse the heck out of everyone you meet.
55. Go rock-climbing.
56. Find a weird TV show on Netflix and watch an episode. Write a review online.
57. Find a really old, dumb movie and riff-trax it. (As in, heckle.)
58. Go through a haunted house just to hang on tight to each other. (Asylum 49, Castle of Chaos, Fear Factory, or the best one, Nightmare on 13th)
59. Make up a dance routine to your song together, pretend you're on Dancing With the Stars.
60. Karaoke night.
61. Take a horse-carriage ride.
There, more than a year's worth of ideas, even if you do more than one a week on occasion. Dating is important, whether you're brand-new to the scene or married 50 years. The worst thing you can do is get stuck in a rut. I once dated a guy that only wanted to sit on his couch and stare at the wall while he fell asleep. AFTER I'd driven to his house, at his request, because..... he didn't have any ideas? Still confused as to why I did that. Needless to say, Mr. Boring didn't last long in the romantic scene of my life.
Have some give and take, but don't say no to something just because it seems weird or hard or you've never done it before. Try that sushi, you may even like it. At the very least you'll say, "Well, I'm doing something that I didn't do yesterday." That's what life's really about, finding the adventure. Have fun dating! And whatever you do, don't feed the homeless on 400 South, they bite.
 |
| How all couples should meet |
So, in hopes of avoiding the dreaded trap, I have compiled my rather lengthy list of date ideas. This is the 'bucket list' of dates, I want to do all of these someday. My goal in coming up with the ideas was simple, fun, and inexpensive. Now, this has been tailored to those who live in the Salt Lake area, but you can easily adapt the specific places I've mentioned (Asylum 49 for your fav local haunted house for example) and you'll have more dates than you can sneeze at. Without further ado, here they are!
1. Picnic in the park
2. Walk Gateway mall and run through the fountain
3. Try all the frozen yogurt stores nearby and pick a favorite.
4. Sneak into Lagoon using the resident pass just to ride the Superman. (My name for the one that drops you from 400 feet in a huge swing.)
5. Explore that old, creepy barn. At night. And take pictures.
6. Make out in the middle of the mall.
7. Each of you compile a CD of fav songs and then listen to them together.
8. Go to library together and pick out a book for the other person to read.
9. Climb to flag on mountain.
10. Go hot-tubbing, preferably somewhere you're not supposed to, like a hotel you didn't check in at.
11. Go waterskiing.
12. Weekend trip to Yellowstone or Jackson Hole or wherever you can get in 8 hrs of driving.
13. Go to a store, pick out outfits for each other, try them on. Laugh.
14. Try out the Twilight Concert Series in Salt Lake, just to laugh at the bands.
15. Write a short story one evening, switching off each paragraph with the other person.
16. Quiet dinner and movie at the house, but don't really watch the movie.
17. Sneak into the others workplace and kidnap them for 5 minutes to kiss in a closet.
18. Film a Vine together.
19. Walk around the downtown and take pictures of the graffiti.
20. Take the other person to your place of work and show them off.
21. Play video games.
22. Make a ridiculous music video together.
23. Go apartment shopping, even if neither of you has any interest in moving.
24. Try that crazy dance club.
25. Go to a bar with live music and order super fruity drinks.
26. Pretty much any excuse to kiss, hold hands, or make out. Find the excuses.
27. Make costumes together.
28. TP one of your arch-enemies houses.
29. Spend the evening looking up how to say, "I love you" in 20 different languages.
30. Have a nerf-gun fight. Or water balloon fight.
31. Go swimming. Preferably where neither of you have been.
32. Speaking of that, go wading in the Tempe square reflecting pool.
33. Go to Idaho just to go horseback riding.
34. Trampoline park anyone?
35. Paintball with friends, but ditch the friends on the way home.
36. Sneak into a theatre just to hold impromptu performances for each other.
37. Make your fav dinner for them.
38. Get some friends and a large, dark building and play sardines. (Reverse of hide-and-go seek. One person hides, everyone goes to find them and once you find them, you hide with them.)
39. Camping.
40. Show up unexpectedly at the other persons house with a random gift, stay only 10 minutes but kiss the whole time.
41. Climb to the top of a random skyscraper just to see what's up there.
42. Give each other a foot massage.
43. Go ice-blocking.
44. Climb a tree.
45. Organize a movie outside.
46. Go sledding.
47. Build an igloo and have a picnic.
48. Go on a hike.
49. Go to Nicklemania (or other and spend the whole time playing 2 person games, or challenging the other person, or just having fun.
50. Fid the weirdest restaurant you can and eat there.
51. Find the closest cheap concert and go, no matter the band.
52. Go to a museum, imitate the displays and take pictures.
53. Explore a big old, or big new library.
54. Find a farmer's market and pretend to be an old Russian married couple. Confuse the heck out of everyone you meet.
55. Go rock-climbing.
56. Find a weird TV show on Netflix and watch an episode. Write a review online.
57. Find a really old, dumb movie and riff-trax it. (As in, heckle.)
58. Go through a haunted house just to hang on tight to each other. (Asylum 49, Castle of Chaos, Fear Factory, or the best one, Nightmare on 13th)
59. Make up a dance routine to your song together, pretend you're on Dancing With the Stars.
60. Karaoke night.
61. Take a horse-carriage ride.
There, more than a year's worth of ideas, even if you do more than one a week on occasion. Dating is important, whether you're brand-new to the scene or married 50 years. The worst thing you can do is get stuck in a rut. I once dated a guy that only wanted to sit on his couch and stare at the wall while he fell asleep. AFTER I'd driven to his house, at his request, because..... he didn't have any ideas? Still confused as to why I did that. Needless to say, Mr. Boring didn't last long in the romantic scene of my life.
Have some give and take, but don't say no to something just because it seems weird or hard or you've never done it before. Try that sushi, you may even like it. At the very least you'll say, "Well, I'm doing something that I didn't do yesterday." That's what life's really about, finding the adventure. Have fun dating! And whatever you do, don't feed the homeless on 400 South, they bite.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
How To Break Up With People You're Not Dating
Every time I get emotional I end up writing a blog of some sort. Most of them don't make it to publication, thank goodness for all 30 of my readers, haha, but this one I thought needed to be handled a bit and hopefully I'll have some useful information for single people.
How to break up with someone you're not technically dating. Yes it's important. This is for those situations when you started going out on dates with someone, you've been on a couple and they were pretty okay but for some reason you know that it's not going to work out or now now you can't/don't want to go out anymore. This means you'll have to *gasp* communicate.
First off, I always advocate the honesty route. Tell the person why you don't want to see them anymore. You should be being honest from the start and if that's the case, it leaves pathways open (say you have to choose between two really great people and need to focus on one at a time, let the other know what you're doing.) With guys or girls, that is the decent thing to do.
Now, a lot of the information out there says an email is acceptable as a way to break things off. Nope. Not for the 30 and under generation. Who gets anyone's emails anymore as a way of communicating?
"Hey, you're pretty cool, let me get your email address." Nope, don't even think about it.
Here's a quick guide.
After 1st date: Text (phone call may be a bit much) or your favorite communication method. If you met them over a dating website and are still talking over it, then you can go with that. If you regularly talk to them in a parking lot at midnight, then use that method.
After 2nd date: Text, think about a phonecall, or favorite communication method.
After 3rd date: Phone call. In person IF that's your favorite communication method (i.e. parking lot at midnight.)
After 4th date and beyond: Definitely phone call or in person (if you're seeing them casually).
*If you kissed after the 1st or 2nd date, jump straight to after 3rd date protocol. Anything that intimate means you did have a connection and now you should explain voice-to-voice why you're doing what you're doing.*
Here's the in-depth guide with reasons and life experiences to back it up.
Okay, so text versus calling. If it's been one or two dates then things probably aren't all that serious between the two of you yet. As such, you're probably setting up dates over text still, and as such this is an acceptable way to break things off. Say you're not feeling the chemistry, are getting more interested in someone else, think their breath stinks, whatever, you can send them a politely worded text if they ask you out for that second or third date. "Hey, I think you're really great but I've (insert excuse here). So thanks, but I'll see you around." Short, to the point. If you need help thinking of an excuse look at the honesty paragraph above, then see the special addenum below for special circumstances.
Now, here's the situations when a phone call is necessary. If it's after the third date. If you've kissed goodnight. If you really care about the person and want to make things clear. If an old flame came back. If you're not feeling the chemistry anymore. Ect. Basically any situation that has been a little more involved. (Note, this does not apply to crazy people or psychopaths, see special addenum for those circumstances.)
For the phone call, here's what you do. Easy way: Think of what you're going to say, then pick a good time and call them. Say what you've got to say, then you're done.
Way for the Faint of Heart (i.e. my way): Write out a few notes on a piece of paper on what you want to say and what you have to get across. Have it in hand to look at if you get befuddled. Be sure that you're making the right choice. (Sometimes you just have to choose and then go with it, but be sure you can stick to your guns in your mind.) Stare at the phone. Call your mom or best friend and have them tell you why a phone call is the more mature, thoughtful thing to do. Psych yourself up. Pick up the phone, make the call. Cry afterward. Call your best friend and eat some ice cream. Done.
A phone call is the nice thing and also the hard thing to do. I will suffer for days before I finally pick up the phone for that difficult call. I would honestly rather stew in my emotions than take the 2 minutes that phone-call will take and get it off my chest. I will chew the inside of my cheek to shreds and get stress-acne. So I get that it's hard, I get that text would be easier. A phone call however is the best way to go. It's clear, to the point, and you can say what you want. If it's anyone I care about I will end up bawling after the call. That's okay, it means you're human. It's good to let the emotions flow a bit. The person will appreciate the call and will remember your maturity. It leaves doors open to still being friends/still having future dates. So make that fricking phone call.
That's pretty much it. I don't advocate meeting someone in person to tell them that you're breaking off seeing them anymore. If you're not in a committed relationship then setting up another meeting just to break it off is rather cruel. For girls and guys, someone has to go to the extent of planning the date and getting all ready to go out and psyched up. We are so disconnected in our day and age that an in-person meeting is really intimate. If they are your committed boyfriend/girlfriend, well that's a story for another time. Basically it'll depend on the circumstances and what you know that they would prefer.
Special Addenum/Special Circumstances.
Do you need help thinking of a nice excuse as to why you don't want to see them again? Here's how to do it. Say you went on a date and realized they had awful breath. After the second date they still had awful breath and you cannot imagine seeing them again. For your excuse, you can be really brave and tell them their breath may need worked on.
How to break up with someone you're not technically dating. Yes it's important. This is for those situations when you started going out on dates with someone, you've been on a couple and they were pretty okay but for some reason you know that it's not going to work out or now now you can't/don't want to go out anymore. This means you'll have to *gasp* communicate.
First off, I always advocate the honesty route. Tell the person why you don't want to see them anymore. You should be being honest from the start and if that's the case, it leaves pathways open (say you have to choose between two really great people and need to focus on one at a time, let the other know what you're doing.) With guys or girls, that is the decent thing to do.
Now, a lot of the information out there says an email is acceptable as a way to break things off. Nope. Not for the 30 and under generation. Who gets anyone's emails anymore as a way of communicating?
"Hey, you're pretty cool, let me get your email address." Nope, don't even think about it.
Here's a quick guide.
After 1st date: Text (phone call may be a bit much) or your favorite communication method. If you met them over a dating website and are still talking over it, then you can go with that. If you regularly talk to them in a parking lot at midnight, then use that method.
After 2nd date: Text, think about a phonecall, or favorite communication method.
After 3rd date: Phone call. In person IF that's your favorite communication method (i.e. parking lot at midnight.)
After 4th date and beyond: Definitely phone call or in person (if you're seeing them casually).
*If you kissed after the 1st or 2nd date, jump straight to after 3rd date protocol. Anything that intimate means you did have a connection and now you should explain voice-to-voice why you're doing what you're doing.*
Here's the in-depth guide with reasons and life experiences to back it up.
Okay, so text versus calling. If it's been one or two dates then things probably aren't all that serious between the two of you yet. As such, you're probably setting up dates over text still, and as such this is an acceptable way to break things off. Say you're not feeling the chemistry, are getting more interested in someone else, think their breath stinks, whatever, you can send them a politely worded text if they ask you out for that second or third date. "Hey, I think you're really great but I've (insert excuse here). So thanks, but I'll see you around." Short, to the point. If you need help thinking of an excuse look at the honesty paragraph above, then see the special addenum below for special circumstances.
Now, here's the situations when a phone call is necessary. If it's after the third date. If you've kissed goodnight. If you really care about the person and want to make things clear. If an old flame came back. If you're not feeling the chemistry anymore. Ect. Basically any situation that has been a little more involved. (Note, this does not apply to crazy people or psychopaths, see special addenum for those circumstances.)
For the phone call, here's what you do. Easy way: Think of what you're going to say, then pick a good time and call them. Say what you've got to say, then you're done.
Way for the Faint of Heart (i.e. my way): Write out a few notes on a piece of paper on what you want to say and what you have to get across. Have it in hand to look at if you get befuddled. Be sure that you're making the right choice. (Sometimes you just have to choose and then go with it, but be sure you can stick to your guns in your mind.) Stare at the phone. Call your mom or best friend and have them tell you why a phone call is the more mature, thoughtful thing to do. Psych yourself up. Pick up the phone, make the call. Cry afterward. Call your best friend and eat some ice cream. Done.
A phone call is the nice thing and also the hard thing to do. I will suffer for days before I finally pick up the phone for that difficult call. I would honestly rather stew in my emotions than take the 2 minutes that phone-call will take and get it off my chest. I will chew the inside of my cheek to shreds and get stress-acne. So I get that it's hard, I get that text would be easier. A phone call however is the best way to go. It's clear, to the point, and you can say what you want. If it's anyone I care about I will end up bawling after the call. That's okay, it means you're human. It's good to let the emotions flow a bit. The person will appreciate the call and will remember your maturity. It leaves doors open to still being friends/still having future dates. So make that fricking phone call.
That's pretty much it. I don't advocate meeting someone in person to tell them that you're breaking off seeing them anymore. If you're not in a committed relationship then setting up another meeting just to break it off is rather cruel. For girls and guys, someone has to go to the extent of planning the date and getting all ready to go out and psyched up. We are so disconnected in our day and age that an in-person meeting is really intimate. If they are your committed boyfriend/girlfriend, well that's a story for another time. Basically it'll depend on the circumstances and what you know that they would prefer.
Special Addenum/Special Circumstances.
Do you need help thinking of a nice excuse as to why you don't want to see them again? Here's how to do it. Say you went on a date and realized they had awful breath. After the second date they still had awful breath and you cannot imagine seeing them again. For your excuse, you can be really brave and tell them their breath may need worked on.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
10 Things That Say You're Actually an Adult
10 Things That Say You're Actually an Adult
10. You buy donuts whenever you want. Seriously. Not too often though because you know how to take care of yourself.
9. You stay out until 2 a.m. and no parental-type figures freak out or call the cops. Heck, you stay out all night sometimes!
8. The thought of sharing a room with someone makes you physically want to barf. You're too old for that crap. (See exceptions below, you married folks.)
7. You PAY YOUR OWN PHONE BILL. I cannot stress this enough, you get the heck off your parents plans and pay your own phone bill like the responsible person you are.
6. Your parents are less your parents and more like your close older friends. Speaking of that, your parents ask YOU for advice every once in awhile. Not very often, and they do tell you what to do occasionally because they are your parents, but seriously, you're realizing they're actually pretty cool people.
5. Cheap health insurance is the most exciting benefit of your job, and you actually know what a 401k is.
4. You make your own doctors appointments and know how to take care of yourself. From the food you eat to the once-yearly checkups, you know how to help yourself be a healthy individual.
3. You're excited by the prospect of being able to pay your own rent. And bills. Especially phone bills. Have I mentioned that enough yet?
2. You've given up an unrealistic dream or two in pursuit of something better, even if that dream was all you wanted when you were younger. You're realizing what life is about, and you've found better dreams to achieve. I mean seriously, was beating all the levels of Skyrim seriously your
1. You know what you want out of relationships. Whether this is dating, married life, regular friends, work associates, or close family, you know what you want. You may not know how to get it always, but you know how to compromise, sacrifice, and develop in relationships in your life. Most importantly, you know how to let people go.
That's my defining list for being an adult. Obviously there are a few exceptions. Married people, I sure hope you're sharing a room, or at least a place where you sleep in close proximity to one another. Phone bills are another. If you're on your parents plan and donating to the cause of keeping phone bills low, that's just smart. Letting your parents pay everything for you? Now that's just irresponsible.
Some people say they hate being an adult, that they'd go back to being a care-free child in a heartbeat. I never would. While I miss being young and relatively care-free, I enjoy making my own decisions too much for that to ever be something that I want to go back to.
As for relationships with anyone, in any form, they are difficult. Knowing how to give and take is important, and I think most of all it's letting go. That's something I've had to do a lot recently as people have grown up and moved on. It hurts, but letting go is an important part of life. That's just how it is, and how it always will be. Plus stalkers are creepy, so don't be that person. :)
That's my defining list for being an adult. Obviously there are a few exceptions. Married people, I sure hope you're sharing a room, or at least a place where you sleep in close proximity to one another. Phone bills are another. If you're on your parents plan and donating to the cause of keeping phone bills low, that's just smart. Letting your parents pay everything for you? Now that's just irresponsible.
Some people say they hate being an adult, that they'd go back to being a care-free child in a heartbeat. I never would. While I miss being young and relatively care-free, I enjoy making my own decisions too much for that to ever be something that I want to go back to.
As for relationships with anyone, in any form, they are difficult. Knowing how to give and take is important, and I think most of all it's letting go. That's something I've had to do a lot recently as people have grown up and moved on. It hurts, but letting go is an important part of life. That's just how it is, and how it always will be. Plus stalkers are creepy, so don't be that person. :)
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
What Happened to Table Manners?!?!
I've run into this several times, but more so in the last week than ever before. It is a plague that needs to be addressed. Do you know what I'm talking about?
People. Young people. People who should know better. Young, smart, up-and-coming people who should definitely know better but somehow don't. Sometimes even old people, and those are the worst because you can't tell them off for doing it. These people are apparently oblivious to the fact that they're doing it, oblivious to the poor ears of others.
Do you know what it is?
Poor eating skills in public. I'm not talking about at restaurants or bus stops or other places that you're supposed to be eating. If you have bad manners in the privacy of your own home then I don't care. Heck, if you have bad manners at a restaurant then you're still paying for the food and space so go right ahead. I won't stop you. I won't even give you a disapproving look.
It's the people that decide they are going to eat in the quiet places. You know. In the library. Or in a study room. Or when they are sharing a table with a stranger and decide that loudly gulping their drink is the appropriate way to go. Or at a family dinner. Or at a dinner with friends. What do you think you're doing?
You. Yes you. Asshole who thinks that bringing an entire bag of chicken fingers to class is appropriate. You sit there and chomp and snarf and annoy the heck out of everyone around you. Can you not see the various disapproving looks that you're getting? Can you not see how annoyed the teacher is? I hope she docks 10% from your grade just for that.
What specifically has to go is this. Gloops (my mom's name for people with poor table manners) who choose quiet places to loudly consume food. These Gloops lick their plates, fingers, knives, or eating companions. They belch loudly, for no reason at all. Loudly smacking while chewing. Chewing with your mouth open. Holding eating utensils improperly so your elbow is miles high. Eating way too fast or way too slow. These Gloops also may sniff (sounds like *snark*) at the table or in quiet rooms without blowing their nose. I've even seen some of these Gloops refuse a proffered tissue in favor of sniffing it all up again and again. Is your stomach roiling yet?
This is becoming a more and more common problem. I think in part it has to do with people spending more and more time in front of computers with their earbuds in. They don't interact with people or hear themselves, so how can they be possibly expected to know that their eating habits make me want to grind knives into my ears.
Maybe the reason it bothers me so much is that when I was younger I used to have unofficial 'best manners' contests with my sister. Both of us had sensitive ears, my sister even more so than me, and the mere sound of someone chewing was enough to drive her off her dinner. So we'd sit at the table with each other and work at not being heard at dinner. Did you know it's possible to eat a potato chip without any sound at all? Well it is. (You want to know how? Go experiment, maybe you'll learn something along the way.) The thing we both learned from it though was how to have impeccable manners.
Sadly, people with good manners, or even people capable of good manners are becoming harder and harder to find. Here are a few more examples.
There is an older person in my family who shall not be named, but this person has a habit I can hardly stand. Every time a condiment is poured from a bottle, be it ketchup, Worcestershire, or ranch, this person takes their index finger, wipes it along the top edge of the bottle, and then puts it in their mouth, smacking loudly at the same time. Do you want to use a condiment after someone has practically licked the top? You do? Well, maybe you'd better keep reading. This person regularly licks their fingers in the loudest and most obnoxious way possible, and because they are my elder the family rules dictate I do not correct their manners. I have corrected them out of reflex on times, (to both mine and their embarrasement) but it never makes a difference. I suppose if you get to that age you assume you can do whatever you want, but maybe there's a reason a lot of old people are alone. Just saying.
Also just saying, said older person loves to cook, but the habit they have of licking their fingers without washing has caused some people to be sick from said cooking. It's sad, but true, and no amount of reasoning can get them to see what's wrong with that.
I've heard and read countless stories where someone invites a coworker or professional prospect out for a business lunch and is so put off by their manners that they never invite them out again. It's like, so much for that job, you ate all the bruschetta before your business partner could even pull out the olive oil.
What happened to common decency and keeping your fingers out of the sauces? What happened to keeping your mouth closed while you chew?
I have another friend with whom I have to put on blinders every time we eat together, otherwise it drives me insane. She eats her food pretty well, but eats it so slowly that absolutely everyone else at the table is done before she even is halfway through. She also manages to push some of her food off her plate while eating so it ends up on the table in a nice, messy, circle on the table. It's really disgusting. I've addressed the issue with her gently, but her reasoning is that if people actually care about her then they won't care about how she eats. I guess that's true, I mean, we're still friends and all. But I do care, so if you're this person, then for heaven's sake get a to-go bag if your entree takes you more than 30 minutes to be consumed. (For comparison, a regular entree takes someone about 10 minutes to eat.)
Okay, here's the issue. We aren't respecting the food and we aren't respecting other people. Do you think if we respected other people we would annoy them with the chewed contents of our mouths? Do you think if we respected food and how rare good food is for some people that we would mash it around, stick our fingers in it, and loudly and mindlessly consume in study groups? I think not.
I admit I have problems with eating. I'm too sensitive to the sights, sounds, and smells others make while eating. Almost everything bothers me. I prefer to eat alone. Last night my grandma came down to talk to me after I got home from work and was trying to make myself a snack. I got so uptight about her watching me eat that all I could manage was two strawberries and a drink of water. I also prefer first dates because then people are on their best behaviors. You'll never see a decent guy stick his fingers in the dipping sauce on the first date, that comes out on the third or fourth date. That aside, I do what I think is a fairly decent job of keeping these quirks to myself. I eat alone when possible and pretend it doesn't bother me. However, it does help me to see where many Gloops are making their mistakes. So I'm ranting about it here, where you can pretend I'm not actually talking to or about you and thus not hurt your feelings.
This all must go. For the sake of your professional careers, your friendships, and your love lives, please have good manners. Take a little common courtesy, improve yourself, and figure it out.
Here's a poem that I memorized when I was about 7, but sums up the problem facing us and our food today. Memorize it. Learn it. Don't be a Gloop.
The Gloops they lick their fingers,
the Gloops they lick their knives.
They spill their broth on the table cloth,
oh they lead disgusting lives.
The Gloops they talk while eating,
and loud and fast they chew.
And that is why I'm glad that I
am not a Gloop, are you?
Friday, March 21, 2014
Online and Social Media Dating: It's Exhausting
I decided to try online dating again.
Yes, again. I tried it out about a year ago and was met with mixed results. The bottom line became that I just wasn't into it and preferred to focus my social energy on my friend group. (And I went on a date with a guy who said he wanted to eat cats. Note: never EVER say that on a first date. Probably not on a fifth one either unless you're having a heart-to-heart about what lengths you would go to for survival. Not that your reason is you're curious about the taste. Just, ew.)
So I decided to try it again just to see. One reason was that I wanted to expand my range of meeting people. Two was that my BFF made me sign up and I didn't cancel the trial in time and now I'm stuck with a six-month membership. Well, if you're stuck with something you don't really want, you should use it? I guess?
Me: Hmm, a six-month membership. Really? What's the point?
My Brain: You might meet someone you like, remember how it worked for *Merida?
Me: Yeah? What about Velociraptor Man and Beard Dude? Or Zombie Girl and Bendy? Didn't work out for them!
My Brain: All of those people were and are acting within a social construct, meaning they're looking but not ready to accept love, which is why their relationships aren't working out-
Me: Shut up, I hate you.
My Brain: If you can't first love yourself then who will love you?
Me:...
My Brain: Point is, you should use the membership, really try, and see what happens.
Me: I take no responsibility for the fallout, got it?
My Brain: Fair enough.
Me: While we're talking, if you're so smart why am I not in a relationship yet?
My Brain: ....because...uh...you talk to yourself?
Me: .....oh yeah.
As you can tell I was off to a great start. So, despite inner turmoil I constructed a dating profile. I pulled some of my best pictures, a few of my not-so-great ones, and mixed them all together with a witty and compelling personal story to make readers interested in me as a person...
Welcome to my profile, be warned, if you spontaneously fall in love can't say that I didn't warn you! Okay, obnoxious tagline out of the way...
Well, maybe not as compelling as all that.
So, two months in, here's what I've found.
Online dating is, in a word, exhausting.
The sheer amount of profiles, the names and interests. The people that I message who don't message back. The people who message me that I refuse to message back. The people that message me on the same day ten other people message me and I simply don't have the time to go through them all. The weeks where no one messages me and where I go through loads of self-doubt and loathing. It all happens.
While I can't say I've found a relationship or even been on any dates yet, here's what I can say to those looking for advice, male or female. (If you don't want the advice then too bad, you're stuck reading this so ha! Wait, don't click out! Don't leave meeeee!)
1. Be interesting. Put something in your personal story that makes me smile, makes someone else smile, frown, laugh, basically anything more than...
"Hey, I'm new to this online thing but thought I'd give it a try! Haha. Don't know what else to say but yeah, I'm interested in a lot of things, message me if you want to know more!"
I mean, seriously? You're basically forcing me to make a decision on whether to talk to you off your pictures so you better hope you look like a freaking supermodel because I'm sure not talking to you for your amazing personality or way with words at this point. Tell me about your Doctor Who or Psych obsession. How you accidentally pantsed your sister at a football game once. On a scale of one to Heath Ledger as the Joker how much you love ice cream. Just pull a bit of your personality out and let it shine. Or sizzle. Or die like a sparkler on the 4th of July. Whatever, just say something!
2. Put up a Good Picture. Please. Don't leave your profile picture blank, otherwise I'm forced to assume you're a 57 year old pedophile who looks like Christopher Walken and sleeps with his mother's dead ashes at night.
3. Don't Take It Personally if They Don't Message You Back. Flipping to third person here, so you wrote a cute and flirty one-liner and sent it off. And...they never messaged you back. "What was wrong with that?" you cry in frustration. "Why don't the people I'm interested in get back to me?" Answer; they're busy. They got ten other messages that day. Their dog died. Reruns of The Office are on. Whatever, don't take it personally.
4. Do Take It Personally If They Don't Message You Back. All you did was send a smiley face and say "Hey."? Or, "Hey, I like your smile."? Don't do that. Don't be that person. Remember rule #1? Be interesting. If someone is forced to pick and choose who they interact with that day, they're going to pick the person who decided to tell them about how they went on a trip to Sochi. Or a trip to their backyard. Or how they pantsed their sister at a football game. Anything that is more interesting then a 'hey'. Take it personally and change what you're doing.
5. Look Within Your Age Range. Seriously, all you 35 year old males, there are tons of 35 year old women out there who love running marathons and cooking and would love to meet an attractive, smart male who is their age. What are you doing messaging me? Now I'm not ruling out that age differences can work. For example, Benedict Cumberbatch is 37 and I think we would work very well together. However, in online dating you need to be able to establish common ground, (any dating really) and at this point we grew up in different decades and didn't even watch the same cartoons! Oh, and all you 18-20 year olds who are messaging me, what are you thinking? I've got siblings your age and that's just weird.
Honestly, a large age difference can make it hard to connect with your partner. Relationships are based on common ground and mutual respect. If you're male, don't look beyond 5 or so years younger and most likely 2-3 years older. If you're female, 5 years or so older and 2-3 years younger. This is a maturity thing, and there's a reason the majority of people stay within this range. Age combinations other than this can work, but usually don't.
6. Have a Sense of Humor About It. Now, this isn't saying that you need to be funny. Just don't take it too seriously and be able to laugh at all the things that happen. For example, I got a message from a guy who told me instantly that he wanted to lock me up in his basement. Well, not really, here's the actual message:
Hello Dear,
How are you doing today?
I believe you are doing great!
I must confess,that your profile is simple and honest.Am confident that we are a great match.Hopefully you reply me to witness the birth of a wonderful,loving,caring and honest relationship that will last forever till death do us part.The Lord is our guide and protection.
Till I hear from you.
Stay blessed.
Yours,
*IGIVEOFFCREEPYVIBESWITHIN2SENTENCES
I heard once that you shouldn't be discouraged if you have stalkers or creepers. Just because they're stalkers doesn't mean they have bad taste! Roll with it, laugh, move on, and for heaven's sake don't message these ones back.
7. Look for A Connection Through Communication. In the end, we're all doing this so we can meet someone that we could spend the rest of our lives with. We've all got that common ground, so take that into account. When you're talking to someone, keep that in mind. Think about how hard this journey's been for you. It's been just as hard for them, if not harder. Make an effort to reach out, speak to the other person, and really connect. You'll be rewarded greatly, and the amount of effort you put in is what you'll get out of it.
That's all I've got to say. Looking through all the profiles and getting the constant rejection as well as the constant interaction is exhausting. You may think it's not worth it but in the end, you're learning something with each interaction, each date, and that helps get you one step closer to your goal in the end. So many people get burned out and swear off dating. Don't be that person, take a step back if you need to and enjoy the ride. Mr or Mrs right could be right around the corner, that next profile, and you wouldn't want to miss out! Besides, at the very least you'll get some good stories out of it.
*Notes: All names have been changed for privacy and comedy's sake. Also I've been away for awhile. Not really away, more like, just busy doing other stuff. If you want the end of the Sherlock story, message me. It was getting the lowest views so I stopped posting it. Can't promise I won't go away again, busy with school and work and such, also actually writing a book which takes up writing time, but anyway, hope you enjoyed the post!*
Yes, again. I tried it out about a year ago and was met with mixed results. The bottom line became that I just wasn't into it and preferred to focus my social energy on my friend group. (And I went on a date with a guy who said he wanted to eat cats. Note: never EVER say that on a first date. Probably not on a fifth one either unless you're having a heart-to-heart about what lengths you would go to for survival. Not that your reason is you're curious about the taste. Just, ew.)
So I decided to try it again just to see. One reason was that I wanted to expand my range of meeting people. Two was that my BFF made me sign up and I didn't cancel the trial in time and now I'm stuck with a six-month membership. Well, if you're stuck with something you don't really want, you should use it? I guess?
Me: Hmm, a six-month membership. Really? What's the point?
My Brain: You might meet someone you like, remember how it worked for *Merida?
Me: Yeah? What about Velociraptor Man and Beard Dude? Or Zombie Girl and Bendy? Didn't work out for them!
My Brain: All of those people were and are acting within a social construct, meaning they're looking but not ready to accept love, which is why their relationships aren't working out-
Me: Shut up, I hate you.
My Brain: If you can't first love yourself then who will love you?
Me:...
My Brain: Point is, you should use the membership, really try, and see what happens.
Me: I take no responsibility for the fallout, got it?
My Brain: Fair enough.
Me: While we're talking, if you're so smart why am I not in a relationship yet?
My Brain: ....because...uh...you talk to yourself?
Me: .....oh yeah.
As you can tell I was off to a great start. So, despite inner turmoil I constructed a dating profile. I pulled some of my best pictures, a few of my not-so-great ones, and mixed them all together with a witty and compelling personal story to make readers interested in me as a person...
Welcome to my profile, be warned, if you spontaneously fall in love can't say that I didn't warn you! Okay, obnoxious tagline out of the way...
Well, maybe not as compelling as all that.
So, two months in, here's what I've found.
Online dating is, in a word, exhausting.
The sheer amount of profiles, the names and interests. The people that I message who don't message back. The people who message me that I refuse to message back. The people that message me on the same day ten other people message me and I simply don't have the time to go through them all. The weeks where no one messages me and where I go through loads of self-doubt and loathing. It all happens.
While I can't say I've found a relationship or even been on any dates yet, here's what I can say to those looking for advice, male or female. (If you don't want the advice then too bad, you're stuck reading this so ha! Wait, don't click out! Don't leave meeeee!)
1. Be interesting. Put something in your personal story that makes me smile, makes someone else smile, frown, laugh, basically anything more than...
"Hey, I'm new to this online thing but thought I'd give it a try! Haha. Don't know what else to say but yeah, I'm interested in a lot of things, message me if you want to know more!"
I mean, seriously? You're basically forcing me to make a decision on whether to talk to you off your pictures so you better hope you look like a freaking supermodel because I'm sure not talking to you for your amazing personality or way with words at this point. Tell me about your Doctor Who or Psych obsession. How you accidentally pantsed your sister at a football game once. On a scale of one to Heath Ledger as the Joker how much you love ice cream. Just pull a bit of your personality out and let it shine. Or sizzle. Or die like a sparkler on the 4th of July. Whatever, just say something!
2. Put up a Good Picture. Please. Don't leave your profile picture blank, otherwise I'm forced to assume you're a 57 year old pedophile who looks like Christopher Walken and sleeps with his mother's dead ashes at night.
3. Don't Take It Personally if They Don't Message You Back. Flipping to third person here, so you wrote a cute and flirty one-liner and sent it off. And...they never messaged you back. "What was wrong with that?" you cry in frustration. "Why don't the people I'm interested in get back to me?" Answer; they're busy. They got ten other messages that day. Their dog died. Reruns of The Office are on. Whatever, don't take it personally.
4. Do Take It Personally If They Don't Message You Back. All you did was send a smiley face and say "Hey."? Or, "Hey, I like your smile."? Don't do that. Don't be that person. Remember rule #1? Be interesting. If someone is forced to pick and choose who they interact with that day, they're going to pick the person who decided to tell them about how they went on a trip to Sochi. Or a trip to their backyard. Or how they pantsed their sister at a football game. Anything that is more interesting then a 'hey'. Take it personally and change what you're doing.
5. Look Within Your Age Range. Seriously, all you 35 year old males, there are tons of 35 year old women out there who love running marathons and cooking and would love to meet an attractive, smart male who is their age. What are you doing messaging me? Now I'm not ruling out that age differences can work. For example, Benedict Cumberbatch is 37 and I think we would work very well together. However, in online dating you need to be able to establish common ground, (any dating really) and at this point we grew up in different decades and didn't even watch the same cartoons! Oh, and all you 18-20 year olds who are messaging me, what are you thinking? I've got siblings your age and that's just weird.
Honestly, a large age difference can make it hard to connect with your partner. Relationships are based on common ground and mutual respect. If you're male, don't look beyond 5 or so years younger and most likely 2-3 years older. If you're female, 5 years or so older and 2-3 years younger. This is a maturity thing, and there's a reason the majority of people stay within this range. Age combinations other than this can work, but usually don't.
6. Have a Sense of Humor About It. Now, this isn't saying that you need to be funny. Just don't take it too seriously and be able to laugh at all the things that happen. For example, I got a message from a guy who told me instantly that he wanted to lock me up in his basement. Well, not really, here's the actual message:
Hello Dear,
How are you doing today?
I believe you are doing great!
I must confess,that your profile is simple and honest.Am confident that we are a great match.Hopefully you reply me to witness the birth of a wonderful,loving,caring and honest relationship that will last forever till death do us part.The Lord is our guide and protection.
Till I hear from you.
Stay blessed.
Yours,
*IGIVEOFFCREEPYVIBESWITHIN2SENTENCES
I heard once that you shouldn't be discouraged if you have stalkers or creepers. Just because they're stalkers doesn't mean they have bad taste! Roll with it, laugh, move on, and for heaven's sake don't message these ones back.
7. Look for A Connection Through Communication. In the end, we're all doing this so we can meet someone that we could spend the rest of our lives with. We've all got that common ground, so take that into account. When you're talking to someone, keep that in mind. Think about how hard this journey's been for you. It's been just as hard for them, if not harder. Make an effort to reach out, speak to the other person, and really connect. You'll be rewarded greatly, and the amount of effort you put in is what you'll get out of it.
That's all I've got to say. Looking through all the profiles and getting the constant rejection as well as the constant interaction is exhausting. You may think it's not worth it but in the end, you're learning something with each interaction, each date, and that helps get you one step closer to your goal in the end. So many people get burned out and swear off dating. Don't be that person, take a step back if you need to and enjoy the ride. Mr or Mrs right could be right around the corner, that next profile, and you wouldn't want to miss out! Besides, at the very least you'll get some good stories out of it.
*Notes: All names have been changed for privacy and comedy's sake. Also I've been away for awhile. Not really away, more like, just busy doing other stuff. If you want the end of the Sherlock story, message me. It was getting the lowest views so I stopped posting it. Can't promise I won't go away again, busy with school and work and such, also actually writing a book which takes up writing time, but anyway, hope you enjoyed the post!*
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