...until suddenly, it doesn't.
Things can stay the same for months, years, a lifetime. Until suddenly, in a flash, everything changes forever.
I guess I'm speaking from a place of watching people around me change, go through events in life that propel them onto the next and next and next stage, and I'm still wandering around this level looking for the exit.
It's a fun level, but there's not a lot of prizes or cash influxes. Tons of interesting people to interact with, and a lot of long, lonely stretches where you open door after door to find room after empty room.
Looking for the level-up factor has been one of the most difficult things I've ever attempted, but the thing is, I'm sure it won't stay the most difficult forever. That scares me, because according to many people, I should be leveled up by now. To the married level, the career level, the having own apartment level. The stable part, the traveling part, any part but the scraping by level.
It hurts to see friends getting married, buying houses, siblings going on missions, other crazy-good but heartrending news that I am super-happy for, but at the same time devastated because it reminds me all over again that my greatest achievement is graduating from college and... yeah, nothing.
I look on these level-ups as blessings, because it motivates me once again to try harder. I don't know if it's a secret lack of motivation, money, ability, opportunity, or a combination of these, but as I approach 25 I'm once again faced with the news that I didn't propel myself nearly as far forward as I wanted to/could have/should have. Yes, I'll probably spend the day crying (I have on every single one of my birthdays since 16 except 24, and that's because I actually achieved something when I was 23).
So my question is...when is life going to change for me? When is it going to take one of those fantastic leaps forward that propel me to the next level? Maybe next month. Maybe next year. There are too many what-if's and maybes to guarantee anything. I can't even get Weber State to get my transcripts read over within a decent amount of time, so unfortunately I'm still stuck spinning my wheels, going to work, and listening to snide or blunt comments by friends and family who should know better.
All I know is, as soon as I see that blue glowing door that separates this level from the next, I'm launching myself though it with the speed worthy of Superman.