Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Standing In The Fire

So, just some random thoughts from my head.

I was told tonight by a close friend that I'm really random sometimes. I replied, slightly stung, "Oh yeah! What makes you say that? I make perfect sense to me...." and she kindly pointed to a post I made a few months ago on Facebook that in its entirety reads: Superheros, heroes, homeless people, rocks. My stunning reply ended up being: "Oh yeah, armpit." Problem solved.

I guess the point is that the face we present isn't always the face that's perceived. For example, what I show the world is to me, funny, smart, shy, and a little awkward. Who's to say what everyone else perceives. For me, is it perhaps weird and a little interesting? I think it depends on the people who are doing the perceiving and against which color palette of life they are comparing you to. Good or bad? Maybe both, who's to really say.

So life moves along. When I turned 24 I promised myself I'd do everything I possibly could for me this year. I wouldn't wait for other's approval or try to shape my life around what others thought I should be doing. An unfortunate part of my personality is that I'm a people pleaser. It doesn't really work well for me, but makes other people like me. Or treat me like a door mat, a bit of everything I guess. I'm doing pretty good, still on my list of stuff to accomplish is: move out, get a job I like, work in the theatre, finish my book, and a few other more personal goals I'll decline to share. Getting there though :)

One last note because it's late and I need to go take my contacts out. (If I don't take them out before I get too tired I will fall asleep in an uncomfortable position, which is lately sideways on the bed with my dog on my feet and my computer on my stomach.) I heard this song again last night for the first time in probably 6-8 years, and it struck me in a way it hasn't for quite some time. Here are my favorite phrases from it. Enjoy and don't ride buses after 10pm, that's when the drunk people come out. 

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide standing outside the fire

Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks

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