Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Of Mawwage and Mice, and also Advice

I thought I would share some gems of marriage advice I've gotten in the last two months. Some good and some bad, all of it kind of hilarious. Enjoy.

-Marriage is about vengeance. Sweet, sweet vengeance.

-Make sure that you let them know who's boss right away, and never let them forget it.

-Put a bunch of marbles in the freezer and when they're not waking up go get those marbles and toss them into the bed. They'll sink to the lowest point...namely their butt/side/face/warm parts.

-You're letting him pick what the groomsmen are wearing? How cute.

-Say something nice to them every single day, whether you feel like it or not.

-Make sure you get him to the doctors office every year, that way you know when he's going to die and you can help the process along.

-Support him and his dreams, don't crush them for a false sense of security. Be willing to take leaps with him and make sure that he'll support your dreams too.

-You think you're going to be sleeping in the same bed every night? You're so naive.

-Wake him up by running your fingers through his hair. It's really gentle and he'll love it.

-Find someone else to confide in, that way you don't annoy him with all your talking and ideas and complaints about life.

-You're going to get pregnant later this year right? Make sure he has a good job so he can support you and the baby.

-Name your first baby Stormageddon, then everyone will know how much of a Doctor Who fan you are.

Moral of the story, most people mean well, but everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Don't let people offend you, but instead think of the advice as a peek into their lives and mindsets. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment