Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Most Important Thing in this Life

I once heard in General Conference that the most important things we will take from this life are our relationships with others. I don't remember where that quote is from exactly, but this has come to my attention time and time again over the last few weeks, and I wanted to expand on that a bit. 

The most important things in this life are our relationships with others. 

This has struck me again and again, is it really going to matter how much I worked or how successful I was. Will it even matter whether I finished all the levels of Candy Crush Saga? Not really, in fact, maybe not at all. What does matter are the people that we meet, live with, work with, play with, and choose to be around. 

Also apparently, to be Batman. When I was Googling my topic to see what else was out there, I typed "The most important thing in this life...." and Google completed it with "...is to be Batman." Gotta love the interwebs. 

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. -Anthony J. D'Angelo

Why do you think so many movies and stories have been written with love in them? It's because relationships are the most interesting thing in the world, and love relationships top them all. Most of the relationships that involve love are given to us from birth, those are the ones of family. These are givens, at least hopefully they are, in a perfect world they would be. The second ones are those of platonic love, the people you choose to love that are your friends. Now these are interesting, but not as interesting as the relationships involving romantic love. These are relationships that begin in a myriad of ways and have just as many ways to end, but they have more of a spark, a fire, drama and intrigue than all other relationships. They are begun sometimes quite suddenly, and ended even more abruptly at times. 

In the end, love is all that matters. 

Why is this though? Why would someone take the time to pen the quote, In the end, all that matters is love. I think that's because it's true, I can't see clearly sometimes through the fog of life, but the one thing that stands out is how we treat others, our relationships with them, and the love we cherish and develop will be the one thing that stands the test of time, from this life to the next. 

The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.  -Blaise Pascal

The heart does have its reasons, and if we tried to explain what makes us connect with other people, we would never get to the end of it. Love and our ability to connect with others and form relationships with them are what makes us human, what sets us apart on this world. 

As I go forward I want to work on connecting with more people, take the time to work on my relationships with others, and be the type of friend that I want to have. I'm still looking for that one special relationship, but I have a feeling it'll come when I'm not looking so hard. It's hard to admit to myself that I care so much about people, because often it feels like they don't care back, and I worry that this is the case with a lot of others.

I'm on the compassionate service committee in my ward, and as I've been reaching out to try and help girls, the amount of people who think they are alone and that no one cares is staggering. These are girls that have tried to make friends but feel that they still have no one, girls that feel shut out from the already existing friendships in the ward. I wish we could see, in color, how people feel, because I think we'd be shocked at how many people feel the same way that we do. The relationships we develop are so important, and if you take the plunge and reach out to someone else, you never know how that may affect them in the long run.

Just, take the time to work on your relationships. You never know which ones you will come to treasure, to need, and to cherish.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Life Moves On

Just a collection of thoughts that I've had.

Life moves on, it really does. When you think nothing will happen, nothing will ever change, suddenly it does. People move, get married, break up, move on, and fall in love. Something wonderful happened to me this weekend that I haven't felt for a long long time. I don't want to give too much away, but suffice it to tell that my heart is not as dead as I once thought it was.
This isn't the story, but it's important. I saw a photo of my ex on facebook. You know, THE ONE. The one that broke my heart, messed me up, and almost destroyed my life. Yep, I went looking for it. Despite everything, I was in love with him once. Now that my heart seems to be alive, letting someone else in, I finally felt safe enough to go looking, make sure the ex wasn't dead and all that. So, he seems to be fine. Happy, with friends. Drinking, (duh, he loved that and never felt comfortable doing it around me), but happy. A little wistful maybe from recent posts, but moving on. Good, he's got a lot of healing to do. He tried so hard to make me into something I wasn't that it almost broke me. Maybe it did. But I didn't come here to talk about that, I came to talk about something else.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn't. I tell myself it's impossible, love at first sight isn't really love, it's lust, want, need, painting yourself onto the other person and pretending. But that's not what I feel. This is deep, like an awakening in my chest, but deeper, within my soul. I want to be better, do great things. I want to love, to be there. I want to be held, to hold, to give. I want to be two, but one.

I'm so scared, what if this is something that I'm kidding myself about. What if when he was talking about that 'other girl' that couldn't get the hint, he was talking about me? Am I still pretty? Can I still attract a guy? I don't know if I trust myself not to destroy someone, but I have so much love to give. I want more than anything to be loved and to love,
 "I'd do anything, just to hold you in my arms.
To try and make you laugh, 'cause somehow I can't put you in the past."
And for once, my dreams aren't filled with darkness and reaching, they're filled with longing, songs, and hope.
"Just a kiss can make my heart ache,
just a kiss can make me fall.
Just a kiss can make my whole world shake,
 and your kiss did it all.
I don't pretend to know love's mysteries, but baby I know this.
When you touched your lips to mine, it was more than just a kiss."
I'm in love, and it scares me. What if he doesn't love me back? What if he's looking for something else?

If you stay with 'what if's' forever, you'll have a lot of 'never found out'. So I'm going to try. If he has to let me down hard so be it, I can heal. Better to heal and become stronger then never find out. I know, so I'll try this out. Love at first sight, I never thought it happened, but it does, and it did.
"I can't help it if you look like an angel.
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so,
come feel this magic I been feeling since I met you.
 Can't help it if there's no one else. I can't help myself."