The Lies Disney Taught Us

Disney Princesses, the backbone of the Disney marketing scheme. They are the icons that are marketed to millions of little girls as strong, beautiful, intelligent role models. But what do their stories really teach us? I grew up with the Disney princesses. However, in growing up there is unfortunately a cynical, logical side to these stories that comes to light. Let's look at what Disney teaches us.

All Disney Princess Movies, EVER
     Princess has found her guy by age 16. Yep, you read that right, 16. In Tangled Rapunzel meets Flynn when she's 18, so they're marketing a little older at least, but 16? Really? That makes most of us old maids. At 24, I'm 8 years past that. So....what does that say? Not sure yet, but seems to be that if you don't find your dream guy young, you'll never find him. Don't think that's what we want to tell kids.
     Princess gets the guy of her dreams. Didn't you notice that? Every single movie, the prince finds the princess and they both fall madly in love. At the end of the movie, the lead character is awarded their favorite love interest. You can apply this to regular movies too, just reverse it since almost every main character is male. That doesn't teach kids how to interact well, just to develop stalker-type crushes and then they'll be happy. Something tells me that's not how it works. I could be wrong though....Imagine me and you, I do. I think about you day and night, it's only ri-i-ight. To think about the girl I stalk, both day and night, so happy togetheeeerrrrrrr......"

Okay, let's examine two movies in particular, Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid. I would do more, but then this blog would be too long and I'd lose half my readership (Yep, I'd lose half of the 10 :)

Beauty and the Beast

     A wonderful story about a bullied, friendless girl who is held hostage by a terrible beast, develops Stockholm Syndrome, and proves that with love you can change a monster into a prince. Just think about that for a second there. The message seems to be, 'If I love them enough, they'll change for me." Well, that doesn't sound like every abusive relationship ever now does it? 

     This used to be one of my favorite stories, and I still love the music when I can turn off the cynical portion of my brain. However, I was in one such abusive relationship for a long time and those were my exact thoughts. "If I just show enough love, if I'm patient enough, kind enough, listen enough, whatever enough, then he'll change and things will be perfect." Life's lesson there is that people don't change. They really don't, unless the individual person wants to. That takes quite a bit of doing, so most people don't bother. Sure, the power of love and all that, but really, it's backwards to what happens in real life. So unless you want to teach the little girls that they just have to be perfect enough and whomever they're dating will love them, maybe we should keep this one locked in the vault. It might happen, but there are too many weirdos out there. 

The Little Mermaid

    This one's fun. A beautiful mermaid falls for a sailor that she rescues who just happens to be a prince. They fall in love, Ariel sells her voice to get legs and Eric is put under an evil spell but eventually they're together. Very nice story, if the villain is rather weird (I mean, who turns into a giant half-octopus the moment they get a ton of power? Wait....) Just don't ever read the original Hans Christian Anderson version though.
     Another lesson we really shouldn't be teaching. Change everything about yourself, even your body shape, then you'll be able to get the guy you want. Right, plastic surgery all over again. Let's not forget the running away, abandoning family for some guy you pulled out of the ocean. Here's Florence Nightingale Effect for you, courtesy of Prince Eric. 

So anyway, there it is. Think twice when you watch the next Disney movie and make sure to live Happily Ever After!

La douleur exquise

I love you,
I love you,
I love you.
          -love me

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.  -Thomas Merton

We loved with a love that was more than love -Edgar Allen Poe

Love is a force more formidable than any other. it is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. - Barbara de Angelis

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous - Ingrid Bergman

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Love is friendship given wings. - me

Life Moves On

Just a collection of thoughts that I've had.

Life moves on, it really does. When you think nothing will happen, nothing will ever change, suddenly it does. People move, get married, break up, move on, and fall in love. Something wonderful happened to me this weekend that I haven't felt for a long long time. I don't want to give too much away, but suffice it to tell that my heart is not as dead as I once thought it was.
This isn't the story, but it's important. I saw a photo of my ex on facebook. You know, THE ONE. The one that broke my heart, messed me up, and almost destroyed my life. Yep, I went looking for it. Despite everything, I was in love with him once. Now that my heart seems to be alive, letting someone else in, I finally felt safe enough to go looking, make sure the ex wasn't dead and all that. So, he seems to be fine. Happy, with friends. Drinking, (duh, he loved that and never felt comfortable doing it around me), but happy. A little wistful maybe from recent posts, but moving on. Good, he's got a lot of healing to do. He tried so hard to make me into something I wasn't that it almost broke me. Maybe it did. But I didn't come here to talk about that, I came to talk about something else.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn't. I tell myself it's impossible, love at first sight isn't really love, it's lust, want, need, painting yourself onto the other person and pretending. But that's not what I feel. This is deep, like an awakening in my chest, but deeper, within my soul. I want to be better, do great things. I want to love, to be there. I want to be held, to hold, to give. I want to be two, but one.

I'm so scared, what if this is something that I'm kidding myself about. What if when he was talking about that 'other girl' that couldn't get the hint, he was talking about me? Am I still pretty? Can I still attract a guy? I don't know if I trust myself not to destroy someone, but I have so much love to give. I want more than anything to be loved and to love,
 "I'd do anything, just to hold you in my arms.
To try and make you laugh, 'cause somehow I can't put you in the past."
And for once, my dreams aren't filled with darkness and reaching, they're filled with longing, songs, and hope.
"Just a kiss can make my heart ache,
just a kiss can make me fall.
Just a kiss can make my whole world shake,
 and your kiss did it all.
I don't pretend to know love's mysteries, but baby I know this.
When you touched your lips to mine, it was more than just a kiss."
I'm in love, and it scares me. What if he doesn't love me back? What if he's looking for something else?

If you stay with 'what if's' forever, you'll have a lot of 'never found out'. So I'm going to try. If he has to let me down hard so be it, I can heal. Better to heal and become stronger then never find out. I know, so I'll try this out. Love at first sight, I never thought it happened, but it does, and it did.
"I can't help it if you look like an angel.
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so,
come feel this magic I been feeling since I met you.
 Can't help it if there's no one else. I can't help myself."