Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I'm Getting a Second Job

Here's a typical Thursday or Friday evening for me.

Me: Hmmm, I want to go out this weekend, tired of staying in...let's see who wants to hang out!

Me: *Calls boyfriend* Hey handsome, doing anything Saturday night?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I've got this super cool acting thing all day, and then my family is all going swimming!
Me: That sounds fun!
Boyfriend: I know, it'll be super great!
Boyfriend: I'm busy then, but talk to ya later for sure!

Me: *texts Social Girl* I'm thinking girls night Saturday, what do you think?
Social Girl: Sorry, I can't, I've got tons of work gibberish to finish.
Me: Hey that's cool, I understand. Maybe next time?
Social Girl: Maybe, having a real job is so hard! You're so lucky your job isn't as real as mine.
Me: Haha...ha....ah....yeah.

Me: *calls best girl friend* Hey bestie, wanna hang on Saturday?
Bestie: Um...I live in Florida...
Me: Oh, yeah I forgot...

Me: *texts Purple-Hair Girl* You, me, horror movie, Saturday night. Whaddaya think?
Purple-Haired Girl: Got a hipster concert to go to with all of my similarly styled friends that night, but thanks for asking!
Me: I was thinking of dying my hair pink. No prob, have fun!

Me: *Texts Work Friend* Hey, want to grab dinner Saturday?
Work Friend: Why are you texting me?

Me: *posts on Facebook* I think I'm going to see New Popular Movie on Saturday, anyone want to come?
Facebook: *Friend/s that lives in Wyoming/Florida/Europe/The Moon/Provo* Would totes come if I lived closer!

Me: *calls mom*
Mom: You have reached the voice mailbox of-
Me: *hangs up*

Me: *group Snapchats everyone who is socially acceptable to do so.* (Insert puppy-dog eyes picture) Anyone want to hang Saturday? Fun stuff planned!
Snapchat: You have no new updates.

Me: *texts Weird Stalker Friend* I'm super bored, wanna go do something?
Weird Stalker Friend: Don't you have a boyfriend?

So...guess who's getting a second job?

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